Dreams

This is going to be really difficult to word without sounding mental - dreams are weird though aren't they? And they're also completely unfair.

So I dream about Molly .. a LOT. Dreaming about people/pets that are dead apparently means you haven't accepted they're gone, which could well be true because I was at uni when she died and I just got a phone call. Whatever the reason, whenever I dream about her the me in my dream knows she's dead and that either she shouldn't be there and I have to hide her so no-one else notices or we've just got her back for a bit, like she's visiting. It's bizarre but I don't think I've ever had a dream with Jake in where Molly wasn't there too. My subconscious can't seem to let there be one without the other.

I dreamt about her last night, then at some point my dream obviously went off on a fairly extreme tangent and I was suddenly on some kinda transport ... possibly a submarine (I have no idea) and it was kinda split into 3 sections length ways and there were 4 guys in the middle section. They had all been drugged in someway ... probably not as weird as that but it's not really clear in my head but anyway they were acting weird, one of them kept wanting to kiss everyone and when he came near me I noticed it was Professor Lupin (or the actor who played him, not sure which) ... obviously I got very excited in dreamworld about this. And obviously when he came near me I let him kiss me but I think I pushed him off fairly quickly because I knew he was a bit druggy but it was long enough for my subconscious to think "Ooo stubble!" 

Sorry, probably too much info there. Don't worry, it won't get any worse than that, promise.

Anyway, whenever we reached wherever we were going, Lupin/David Thewlis snapped out of his weird trance thing and jumped onto a ferry so I followed him and sat next to him. He was like really pale, which apparently was some sorta drug aftermath. So he decides that what he needs to make him better is one of those tiny kids Wildlife yoghurts (the shit my subconscious comes up with) because obviously that always helps. He shared it with me - how romantic. Eventually, nub and gist of this rambling blog, Lupin/David started trying to ask me something all sort of "I was kinda wondering, I mean obviously if it's the wrong thing to say ... but I was hoping ..." and he kept going on like that really dragging it out and his voice kinda got fainter and I felt like someone was slowly pulling me away ... actually the phrase "slipping away" is ideal to explain how this felt. I was kinda straining to stay there but then I woke up with that feeling where you sorta feel like you've just landed on your bed. 

I was so annoyed and was kinda screaming in my head "NOOOO TAKE ME BACK! I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE WAS GOING TO ASK!" but no matter how tightly a closed my eyes it didn't work. Not fair :(

I dunno why I felt the need to record this - but it was so bizarre how one moment I was in a pretty vivid dream and oblivious to the world around me next thing I'm back in bed, with the fan blowing and nothing to look at but the inside of my eyelids. How disappointing *sighs*

Ah well. There's always tonight :)

Bye

Cock

xxx